this is a culture and a country that possibly values the intangible, the silence and the unsaid more than the words, but i feel like i have to capture the way i feel about these people at this point in time, and release all that i have kept inside, unable to express:

Ms. Hamana: i think you are one of the most sincere, kindest people i have ever met. i have unlimited amounts of respect for you; that you work with special needs kids with a doggedness and earnestness and LOVE that few people are gifted with; that you are unceasingly kind to anyone and everyone; that you are insanely talented at all things related to cooking. i love talking to you, i never feel pressured, or lame, or that i have to keep an unceasing flow of talk. thank you for all the patience and help you have shown me (in all my cooking-in-school endeavors). i pray for the helath and happiness of your children and that your pregnancy will be smooth and without glitches.

Mr. Matsui: i love talking with you. you’re also unceasingly kind, and your wealth of knowledge and experiences knows no bounds. you know so much about the world and talking with you is always thought provoking. thank you for all your gifts that show so much thought in them. i don’t deserve half the kindness that you show me. thank you so much.

Mr. Sasaki: thank you for the warmth that youve shown me. thank you for always trying to talk to me even when you think (or know) that i don’t understand. thank you for always trying to explain whatever i don’t understand when it’s easier to just give up the topic. thank you for always, always trying in english. thank you for your love, for the bouquet with the pink roses and gerberras that was entirely spontaneous and unasked for, for caring that i shouldn’t walk home alone and wanting to bother your wife to give me a lift, thank you for thinking that i am the sort of girl that you would want your daughter to be friends with and to be influenced by– i think that is one of the highest compliments that i have ever received. i pray for your family. i pray for your wife’s health, and for tomomi– that even as she gives up things in her life for her family, she be constantly aware of what a great dad you are. i pray that you will always be financially provided for, and that your children will grow up to be as great a person as their dad is. i pray for the health and happiness of your whole family.

mr. ono: thank you for your kindness, and for always trying to speak some english to me. thank you for being the first teacher to ever ask me to go watch your club’s matches. if not for you, i would never have tried. you’re insanely good-looking– true to how mr. ebara introduced you, you are pretty close to being the perfect man. ;)

mr. mitomo and ms. kobayashi: thank you for always showing an interest in my life and trying to start conversations. i know i’m useless at continuing japanese small talk, but i understand the heart behind it, and i appreciate it very much.

and there are just so mnay things i wish i could adequately express to you all. i love you all, and i pray for your happiness. i never assume that anyone should be nice to anyone– but you all have been so unceasingly kind and patient to me when you really have no real need to be. i wish i could tell you how much these two years in nishi chu have meant to be, and how much i wished i could communicate better and understand you all, and tried to let you understand me too. i hope that somehow in my broken japanese and and choked little voice you can intuit just how much you all mean to me.