safety bubbles

always the same thoughts reiterated again and again. one can’t live in the bubble forever, somehow one must always leave and go out into the sullied world and live, and living is the bit that’s tough.

i actually wrote the above two lines in a draft and saved in on wordpress, but it ties in to what i wanted to blog about tonight, so it stays; abrupt, incomplete not properly started and not entirely finished.

but what i wanted to talk about is the site stuff christians like. it’s pretty much the christian version of the famed stuff white people like. after a recent spate of interesting posts, i finally added it to my feeds, and i trawl through the archive at school when i’m bored. it can feel sometimes like the author is trying too hard to mesh pop culture references with christianity, but there’s something in his approach that really appeals to me. he clearly loves God and is pretty immersed in Christian sub-culture, but he’s not above having some sort of third-person awareness about it and being able to laugh at himself. there’s actually a huge amount of hidden gems there; things that i read and physically laugh out loud instead of self-narrating the word ‘lol’; and also things that i read that gives me a slight shiver because i recognise something of me in what he’s talking about.

today’s post just popped up on my feed, and it ties in so well with a theme that’s been running through my life lately, i felt i had to document it here for future reference. i will probably mangle it, so it’s best to post a huge chunk of the post as it is:

But lately, as I’ve spent more time with God and really put a priority on our relationship, what’s been coming back in the glass has not met my expectations. Life hasn’t gotten more comfortable or easy or perfect. And I don’t think it’s going to, because I think if I complained to God that this adventure He is calling me on is dragging me out of my comfort zone, I think He would cry back:

“Good, I don’t like your ‘comfort zone.’ For one thing, it’s something you create and you also turn to me less when you’re in your comfort zone. I want you out of your comfort zone. I want you dependent on me and if to do that I have to pull you out of your comfort zone, then I will. I am the only one that can create true comfort. I am the only one that can give you that gift. You are powerless to be truly comfortable outside of me. The adventure I am calling you to will not be comfortable by your definition of the word.

You define comfort as ‘doing things you already know how to do, repeating the things you’ve always done, and never being nervous.’ That’s wrong. Your definition of comfortable is really the definition of ’stagnant.’ Have you ever noticed that? You don’t grow. You don’t change. You don’t learn new things. My definition of comfortable is a lot different. Mine means going deeper into who I am and who I made you to be. Sitting in my presence naked of your insecurities and masks is true comfort.”

i’m nervous and i have sweaty palms; i feel small and weak and inept; i’m, quite frankly, a neurotic mess. still, God’s trying to do something in me and i’m terrified but i yearn for the day i can sit in His presence naked of my insecurities and masks.

感想

ずっと神の御国にいていて、神の人々と過ごしたければ、どんなに嬉しいことか。君さえいれば幸せ。しかし、自分の思うとおりに生きることは難しいなあ。私は実は最悪の人間だ。神の子のくせに、いつも我が儘に、意志力弱い生きている。自分自身の能力が足らないので、神にもたれるしかない。うちは性格の欠点はともかくとしてイエス様の光が出されたいと思っている。

自分の不安、心配事は抜きにして、この世界に生きたいのに、人生はなかなか思ったとおりにはいかない。

(this was an attempt to use JLPT 2 grammar to write a blog post that expressed something as close to my real emotions as possible)

first date 101: part 2

So this is list number 2, from the second class. there’s a lot more serious advice here that is surprisingly precocious. but then there is also point 2:

1) He shouldn’t buy two cups of popcorns because he can reach for her hand.
2) At last they should sink into the sea because they will love forever like in Titanic.
3) He should go to amusement park’s Ferris wheel because it’s a private room.
4) He should go to amusement park’s haunted house because it’s dark and he can touch her.
5) He should go and watch night view because he can touch her.
6) He shouldn’t ignore her opinion because she will hate him. (Surprisingly precocious, but I think this is genuinely good advice.)
7) He should hold her bags.
8) He should hold her hags. (Hmmm.)
9) He should go shopping with her because he can know her liking. (Once again, surprisingly thoughtful.)
10) He shouldn’t be late for the first time because it will make her angry.
11) He should treat her, because she will appreciate him. (That’s right boys, buy yourself a girlfriend!)
12) He should listen to her talking because he can know her better. (That’s right boys. Because we’re worth knowing!)

first date 101: according to 15-year-olds

Mr S. and I had a class where the kids had to practice giving their advice and/or opinion using ‘should’. So knowing what appeals to hormone-raging 15-year-old students, we gave them situation of their friend, M-kun, going on a first date with K-chan. This is the advice the first class came up with. The good, the bad, and the pervy:

1. He should go to the sea with wild Harley Davidson because it’s romantic.
2. He shouldn’t say dirty jokes because it will be disgusting. (Ahhhh the pitfalls of dating a 15-year-old boy.)
3. He should bring 15 white pigeons and one hundred cans and three ropes, because it feeling marriage. (This is a first date, mind you.)
4. He should take to her home, because she makes happy. (I don’t think they mean it in the dirty broken English way it seems. I think they meant, ‘He should take her home, because it makes her happy.’ But er, they might mean she makes er, the happy with him.)
5. He shouldn’t touch her body, because it will make her unpleasant. (Don’t you know it!)
6. He should watch a touching movie because he can hold her hand at the climax.
7. He should hold her only. (This kind missed out the word: hand.)
8. He should bring a lot of money because he can pay for everything. 

Aren’t we glad we aren’t taking advice from 15-year-olds on the art of dating? My favorite advice though, comes from Gyoda Shoma, who for the last bullet point simply wrote: Good Luck.