rejoicify in swankification

no relation to the title of this post, really. just an expression of appreciation for the made-up words of Wicked. :D

long post ahead, ho! (ho is a word which here means ‘an onomatopoeic word used to express an exclamation of shock at discovering something’, and not, ‘whore’.)

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1) Encounter weekend. laugh. it was 2 weekends ago, when me and 14 others from YCCF (york chinese christian fellowship) left to milton keynes where we stayed at this brilliant place that’s the OCCM (overseas chinese christian mission) headquarters cum bible school. it was such a lovely, new, swankified (and clean!) place with the most comfy beds i’ve ever had in the uk (excepting, possibly, shining’s :P in her lovely house).

and it was such a powerful, edifying weekend.

and i suppose– it’s strange for most of you who knew me back in singapore, that i’m now (in a phrase i coined with kelvin in london) a crazy scary evangelical protestant. but– to cut a long story short, i am. haha. and i am still very much in control of my senses, and this is by no means a blind leap into the unknown; it’s something really, really real. and i suppose i’m done feeling ashamed of it– being a christian used to be something like an awful personality quirk, like being a pathological liar or bipolar, and friends would have to assure you “don’t worry, i’ll still love you <I>even</i> if you were a christian”– and i should just come out of the closet, so to speak. :P

koff.

but back to encounter weekend. (: what an edifying experience, and i think it’s been the first time that God’s love has ever felt so utterly real, and it’s really amazing if you think about it.  it’s washed the slate clean, and now i think i do feel like i am ready to move on and be sent out. there are still many tricky doctrinal issues to travail, and many answers to tricky questions i do not have, but one step at a time, ne? the assurance and the love is real. the confidence the patience the grace that’s been given is just, wow. (:

(and stop looking shocked as you read this, kelvin.)

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2) i watched Wicked: The Musical last weekend in london, and i must say– wow. true, the characters and the plot have been flattened considerably to fit into a 2 hour and 50 minute show (and true, that didn’t stop les mis from being the powerful thing that it is, so why should wicked be excused), but it’s so gosh-darnedly enjoyable. and there is depth, a current topical political comment to be made, and catchy songs to sing-along to for months to come.

the songs for the women were far better than the ones for poor fiyero– but i suppose that is what the musical is about. female empowerment et al. the lyrics were somewhat strange at places (“nessa, oh nessa, i’ve got something to confess-a”) idina menzel was gorgeous, and so intensely charismatic. helen dallimore was good, but watching bootlegs of kristin chenowith really made helen look, well, stiff. i think cheno is so -out there- that you can’t help but love and believe her galinda. helen, on the other hand, is too poised and uppity and polished. which is a different take on galinda, but i preferred cheno’s. she is the original, after all.

i do feel like wicked should have gotten better reviews from the papers, to be honest. i found it perfectly moving, if occasionally flat. though, that might be credited to the actresses rather than the book.

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3) i think i’m learning to enjoy solitude a lot more in york. my seminar on friday got shifted to wednesday, so last night was the first relaxing thursday night i’ve ever had. and it was me-time, curled up under my blanket and watching 4 eps of csi in a row. i think i understand why jake would want to rip his phone out of the socket though. not that i hate the phonecalls– it’s just sometimes you want some time to just be quiet and drink coffee and look at the rain.

(and maybe eat a hash brown. or two.

or six.)

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4) i have passed on my earthly cheap plastic tiara and am now divested of my duties as singsoc pres. :P i’m pleased with the new president (even if he is a super-infector and has given me a persistent virus that has lasted 2 weeks), and i’m confident the new comm will do a good job. they’re a good bunch of kids (which is a term of affection, not patronage) and they do seem to want to make good.

i feel like i’m dropping out slowly from the york circles though– too much reading! too much work. i’m reading nearly every day, and there are deadlines after deadlines to fulfil. on the up side, i got 72 for my politics procedural (that’s a first class mark), and my english procedural got a well-done from judith– so all i have to do is translate these scores onto my assessed work and it can’t be that hard… right?

-nervous laugh-

but my pol prof wrote me this delightful comment on my essay– “you should be prepared to take on a more prominent role in leading discussions, don’t be put off by the superficial self-confidence of pushy Westerners!” :P i think we give tutors less credit than they deserve in the area of reading seminar dynamics.

incredibly, incredibly blessed

i think if anything’s been made clear this week, it’s how blessed i am to have such a strong community of brothers and sisters in Christ here in york. (: so, so thankful– to lin and en qi, rokey, kevin, howard, herbert, amanda, shiao en, nagisa, esther, huang xiao, shirley– for all the company, the talk (be it serious or not), the singing, the worship… and i think i understand the power of this sort of bond now. it feels like sometimes the individuals don’t matter as largely as they normally do, what matters is that i know that we’re all redeemed in Christ, and we all find our centres in God, and somehow this uncomplicates so, so many things. it’s never our own power, our own terrible, dreadful wills which urge us on– his yoke is light, and his peace is beyond all understanding.

it’s a very powerful feeling that i felt tonight, similar to the one i felt when i talk to dewen. it’s the feeling that there is definitely something spiritual in the air, that makes one smile constantly, and yet with the constant quiver that threatens to dissolve into tears. not bitter tears, but tears from the feeling that one has been incredibly blessed to experience such things, and to feel such things, and to have such things.

in a way perhaps it is the feeling of siblinghood– the one i never truly had, or perhaps i thought i didn’t have and now will never know– to know that you’re not really alone, that you have so many siblings actually, in the body of christ. so many beautiful people whom you love so, so much and owe so, so much to. it is a strange kinship, strange in its unfamiliarity, but something so, so wonderful.

you give and take away indeed, eh? you take away one brother, but in his place, you have blessed me with many, many more.